。。。

很久就摆脱了悲观，

如今，悲观这个老朋友又来了~

有时真的很难肯定自己的存在；

有时也很难肯定自己的立场。

六个月，这六个月发生了很多事情～

不如意的，以为就这样结束，

结果还是一波未停一波又起，

自己也无法对自己释怀～

很需要一份安全感，

也很需要一份珍惜，

需要一份别人送来的礼物，哪怕是一颗糖果，

我想我还是可以因为它笑着睡着。

努力，还是努力，

可是没有得到赏识，

反而得到了无谓的批评，

没有努力的人却一直享受赞赏。

是观点的问题？还是不公一直就处在努力的人身上？

没有答案。。。

挣扎，

一直垂死挣扎，

就算多痛苦，

告诉自己拼下去~

可是此时此刻，

找不到平衡点~

需要平衡点吗？

不知道~

一直以来，对谁都尽量报喜不报忧，

压抑自己的不悦，

不想为别人增加烦恼，

或许这种牺牲小我，

换来只有自己的星球，

宇宙外的生物都听不见我的呐喊，

遥远，

很遥远，

我的呐喊是多么的刺耳，

宇宙外或许只听见我的细语~

Baked Bluberry Cheesecake

banana muffin

Sweet Potato Soup with glutinous ball

One day after our dinner, I was so craving for this glutinous ball.  Moreover, mom bought alot of sweet potatoes..so without any hesitation, I asked mom how to make sweet potatoes soup. I never tried to cooked sweet soup 'tong shui糖水' before. This is the first time I cooked sweet soup !!! 

Manatao, sweet soup very easy to cook lar... 

Pandan Leaf, sweet potatoes, one big ketul of ginger, 2 cups of sugar...

Boiled the pandan leaf and ginger first, then throw the sweet potatoes into the pot to be boil with the pandan leaf and ginger...when it's almost cooked, add in sugar... Gaodim!!! 

Then I found that Meiji cracker is way nice to eat with sweet soup ~ 

Peanut filing punya glutinus ball ~

.........................

Millions of pics awaiting to dress up...


Give me sometimes......

Weekly theme - LAMB CHOP

Spot the edited pic? Fish, I have to surrender to this stuff, I really have no patience on editing my pics, that's why I owned a very boring baliah blog ~ =P

This entry supposed to be long long time ago, as it passed over more than a month, it's KS's birthday ~ Hooray ~ And LampLamb Chop was the theme of the week... Yeah !!!


pictures first, captions later =)


Happy Belated Birthday to KS ~



LampLamb Chop
Dad marinate it with his special recipe~ I think I can't find this taste in anywhere else.



Stir Fried Onions
I made this actually ~
You just can't imagine how sweet it is... Arghh, I miss it badly...




Fried Chicken
Yes, again with my dad special marinate sauce ~ LOL



Some other foods which I did not captured, Coleslaw, Whipped Potato, Roast Lamb Leg which my dad had sliced it and last but not least the Chicken Gravy ~
Slurping while typing this...



My Selections, Fried chicken wing is a must order to me !!! and the HP sauce ~
Slurping again ~



Why the kids look so stress when taking photo ? LOL....



More photos ahead, but I need to upload it to photobucket first ~ Stay tuned for more foods !!!


=P

Marble Cheesecake

UPDATES !!!


Sorry for lack updates, my router was out of service. Am still looking for the warranty to be claimed. So I am just able to update FISHU in my office. Sigh, kesian, my lappie abandoned by me again~

I was supposed on my way to bank, but heavy rain outside, so force to postpone my trip to bank and I AM HERE ~

As usual, I still bake and cook on weekend, and my Weekend Theme still run as usual ~

So hereby present you guys my Marble Cheesecake ~

Picture first, captions later ya ~ ^^


Marble Cheesecake ~



I think I should aim a new oven for myself, the outlook was not perfect as what I expected...



Overall, it's taste nice and the sweetness is just nice it to the senior members in my family ~ =)



Hmm, to think I should use 7' mould on next attempt~



=)

Mini BBQ Party during Earth Hour, CONFIRMED !

We are going to held a Mini Bbq during the Earth Hour !!! Yeah !!!

Mom just agreed to make it on 8.30pm-9.30pm.

BBQ !!! BBQ !!! Yes !!!

• chicken wings
• sausages
• sweet corns
• sweet potatoes
• potatoes
• mashmallows
• fish balls
• mutton
• mussels
• and bla bla bla

Nyam nyam......... Can't wait for it !!! And of course I am so looking forward to Earth Hour. Let's turn off our lights on 28 March 2009 8.30pm-9.30opm. Yes, LOCAL TIME, no matter where you are, Local Time !!!


Guys, come on !!!
Let's work out something to fight global warming. Don't feel meaningless, just do it, contribute and do something for the Earth since you had consumed it since you born and you will consume it in future !!! If you think you are the only one in your family who support this campaign, and you don't get any positive response about it, just don't give up, cos you are not alone, and you are not useless, cos we need you, the earth need you.

So stay tuned for my updates about my bbq party !!!


=)

Blueberry Cheese Tart

It's Saturday again.
But I am so not feeling to cook nor bake. Laziness, my soul seems not with my body now. What's pop in my mind now is kind of sin. SIN !!! Yes, S.I.N !!! I am so wanna shopping, but the problems is I don't have anyone here want to shop with me, everyone is busy for assignments, working, busy for exam revision. Arghh.... I am so bored here...

Ok, since I'm not gonna cook or bake today, so I just post something that I bake recently lar..
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Guess What ? I just got myself a reason to shop, I think I need to buy some recipes books, I need something new to inspire me to bake something~ Hehehehe...


Blueberry Cheese Tart !!!! Not again?????

During my birthday, I had baked this cheese tart just for fun and to fill up my times since I had applied leave on that day. What else can I do at home other than baking or cooking?
Blueberry Cheese Tart always be my recommendation to my friends who wanted to try baking. It's not difficult at all to bake this lil tart, just abit step-ie cos you need to seperate the process into 2 days time or even more if you don't wanna bake everything in one shot. I've tried before to bake this tart in one day, you really need time !!!! Indeed, the recipe is just as easy as you fried the mata kerbau egg, no need skills at all, beginners can make this well !!! I swear !!!



Blueberry Cheese Tart




Ingredients

- Pre-baked Tart Crust
- Cream Cheese 250gm
- Butter 20gm
- Icing Sugar 60gm
- Egg 1nos
- Lemon Juice 1/2 tablespoon

* Mix all the ingredients except Tart Crust until it becomes a smooth batter, and that is your cream cheese filings.


Pre-baked Tart Crust

I baked this the night before I make the fillings for this tart. You can bake as much as you want, and the fillings is up to you... Egg tart, fruits tart, bacon and egg tart, chocolate tart, cheese tart, strawberry tart, whatever you want. It is more convenient if you bake this tart crust in advance, saving your time and also reduce your tireness.

Tart Crust
- Flour 250gm
- Butter 65gm
- Margerine 65gm
- Egg 1/2 nos of Gred 'A' Egg
- Icing Sugar 65gm

* Mix all the ingredients together.
* Wrap the dough with plastic wrap, refrigerate for half an hour until ready use.
* Roll out enough of dough in to baking mould.
* Press and shape it with the baking mould.
* Bake it with 190'C or till its cooked.




1. Place some blueberry jam on the tart crust.




2. Add in some cream cheese fillings.




3. Apply a lil drop of blueberry jam on the top.




4. Use a toothpick to decorate as your desire.

5. I usually make it as a star. Just use your toothpick to place centre of the blueberry jam, then swipe outwards.




6. Bake it with 190'C for 10 minutes or till it cooked.

7. Remove the tar from oven and let it sit for cooling, refrigerate your tart for 30-60 minutes before serve.

Ok, Start makan.



I baked the cheese tart at night, but in the daytime, FG brought me out to makan only. Then I bought doughnuts for the kids and for myself.

DOUGHNUTS !!!! I wish to fry doughnuts... Yala, doughnuts is not bake by oven, indeed you need to fry the dough in a high temperature of hot oil in a wok !!!!!!!! If you don't believe, go q-up at Big Apple or J.Co to have a look ~

Ok lar, I got to make up myself first, going out to get some recipe collections at book store... shopping shopping shopping shopping.....

Happy Weekend everybody ~

=)

Turn Off Your Light !!!!!!!!!!

What makes you think about when you see the following ?

A. Recycle Bag

B. Recycle sign.

C. EARTH HOUR Banner

My answer: "Sigh, people are saying that I am idiot~"

I don't know have you guys notice that recently when you are watching your favourite tv show, when the time comes to the advertisement break, there is suddenly 2 ppl were wearing black colour T-Shirt and talking to each other, when you feeling to ignore the clip, then u walk away to washroom, looking for some snacks, call your loved one, and when you are back and sit in front of your TV again, then you will see a totally black background with some words there "60 Hour Earth, Turn Off Your Light, 28 March 2009, 8.30pm-9.30pm". When you are totally out of your mind, thinking about it "apa la ni? what is that?", will you pull your heavy butt away from your TV and stick your butt in front of your lappie and search about this message? Hmm, I am sure, you will tell yourself ,"Aiya, later lar......."

Yes, I am the one, I told myself later larrrr.... I still remember the first version that I watched is Reshmono and Pete Teo's version, then the next version is Sheikh Muzzafar & Alex Yoong's version. What makes me think about the off light thingy is really cool. Instead, it could be some kind of scene that amaze the kids. I remember when I was 11, my house area got no electric supply for almost 3 hours, me and my sis with our neighbours were so excited, and we all running around the street, playing this and that cos our parents and some other neightbours also chit-chat outside the house.... So I am sure kids will definitely enjoy in darkness~ LOL... Ahem, back to topic, so after I watched the both version and feeling excited on it, I told my family and friends about this activity, and I found some clips on youtube and the earth hour website.

It is not a stupid thing, it's about to show that we are united to fight for global warming. It's everyone responsibilities. You don't have to donate your money, you don't have to waste your time, but you just have to take out one of your finger, then switch off your light at 28 March 2009, Local time 8.30pm - 9.30pm. Easy right? Yes, as easy as you eat, you walk, you jump bla bla bla... So have you notice my question at the beginning of this post? so what is your answer? Can you see my answer after my question? Hmm, Yes, I was told that I am stupid and idiot. Yes, really!! I swear that people claimed that I am stupid to spread the switch light activity and the recycle message.

I tell my friends and my family, If possible, please don't take so much plastic bag, use recycle bag when you go to market lar...or maybe you can da bao your food with your tupperware lar.. bla bla bla... don't smoke so much lar.. bla bla... But with one conclusion, "Aiyo, I don't use, other people will use it also lar, I don't do it, others also will do lar..." I told the, "So why don't we all pass the message around ? So hard mer?" They answer me," Yerrr, very odd lor, if I buy things no plastic bag, I wear so nice but carry a ugly recycle bag........................." See, so many excuse... What I meant is not asking you totally don't use ma.... like the above recycle sign, REDUCE !!!! REDUCE kawan !!!!! Even FG, I told him about the earth hour thingy, he asked back me,"One hour ar? Yerrr... why must be night time? Daytime cannot mer? why must switch off the light" Some friends of mine said,"Why so mafan, so leceh?" " Aiyo, not so free lorrr... I got bunch of assignments lorr..""Chi sin, who will do that?"

Hmm, I am squeezing my brain juice just to attract you guys to run this programme ~

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.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

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.

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OK, here comes an idea....

1. Spread EARTH HOUR to the world, tell your friends and family about this, click here, here or here.
2. Take out your camera, your HP, whatever that can capture your house or maybe your room or your surrounding during 28 March 2009, Local Time 8.30pm - 9.30pm.
3. Send me the link where I can view your pictures or Email me your pictures with the title of EARTH HOUR and the location of your pictures~

Erm, I don't have any idea about prizes yet. Maybe you guys can suggest me something. Hmm, maybe my idea sucks, just ignore it, but please please please...

TURN OFF YOUR LIGHT

28 MARCH 2009, LOCAL TIME 8.30pm-9.30pm.










THANK YOU !!!

An EMO Post.

Did I mentioned what I've done on my birthday and what I've done on the day that suppose to be my birthday trip but has been cancelled due to FG sickness? If I didn't, here I go to post this emo post and even it's over, but still, I AM STILL EMO HERE !!!!!!!!!

Ok lar, forget about the EMO thing first, let's start here...

During my birthday eve, FG promised that he will bring me out for dinner the night before cos he was getting better that night(he fever for almost a week), ok lar, since he promise, so I just put my hope that my birthday dinner might be some where in those western cuisine restaurant lor. Nothing better to have dinner with your loved one during your birthday right? And I can tell that I am sox10000000 looking forward to this dinner lor.............

Then till my birthday which falls on Wednesday, FG called me in the morning and tell me that his body was fulled with tiny little small red dotted thingy. I was like OMFG!!!! WTF!!!! Apa lar? Which means that my birthday dinner gonna cancel lor? Then I ask FG that, what to do? FG asked me not to worry about, the red dotted thingy not serious also, it just cause him abit itchy.Oklar, then since he ask me not to worry about, then I went to work as usual. I didn't take my lunch nor breakfast, I have no appetite at all. Things not getting better, and the worst one ahead.

After I back home from office, I started to wait FG call. And I skip my proper dinner with my family, cos I thought FG gonna bring me out for dinner, so to not disappoint my mom's dishes, I just had a few bite on mom's dishes. Then, I started to wait FG call. Wait..... wait.... Wait... Till 9.30pm, finally FG called, he said that the dinner have to cancel, cos he feeling not well and the red dotted thingy still torturing him, he said he can't stand for high temperature, if he feels hot, the red dotted thingy will appear and itchy bugs will crawl all over his body.

So ended up, I have do nothing on my birthday. BUT full with dissappointment ~


I went to work~

I went to office, back home from office, had a few bite on family dinner, waited FG's call, disappointment !


Watched Astro,



upload pics to photobucket,


and count black sheep for my insomnia~ HABIS WAYANG ~

Yes, I am still EMO here ~




=(

my leave wasted ~

I AM NOW AT GENTING HOME~

Sigh~ I was suppose to be in GENTING !!! To fight for my extra pocket money, but.......
Haiz....I am now at home... Sigh.....

FG have been sick for whole week, that's why we can't make the way to Genting... Duh, I really feel to go there lor, the trip was planned one month ago and it was well planned . We were planning to go for cruise vacation, but due to my ability of leave approval only for 2 days, therefore we have to go somewhere nearer.

Aiks, GTG to get my baking needs now... Update later... =)

Post on my birthday eve

FIRST OF ALL, WISH ME HAPPY BIRTHDAY ~






Last Sunday, the weekend before my birthday, my parents, uncles, aunties, cousins and siblings had celebrated my birthday in advance. At the beginning, they were planning to give me suprise, but too bad that they were unsuccess for that, cos I AM TOO SMART...hahahahaha... See, not smart people got all the advantages one, the worst thing is that you not gonna have suprise for the rest of your life. OK, back to the topic.

They were planning to held our family gathering with the theme of the week- STEAMBOAT. Yes, we are such a warm family, we have our weekly gathering dinner and we have T.H.E.M.E for our weekly dinner. T.H.E.M.E ler !!! Theme, u know? We used to have Pan Mee, Chicken Chop, Chicken Rice, Nasi Lemak, Yee Mee, Pasar Pagi set, Lamb Chop and etc. Yes, we DID !!! No bluff, no lie, no tipu, no bohong, no pian, no ahk, we really have weekly theme... bla bla bla... Ok, so how I know they gonna celebrate my birthday? Story comes to Saturday, when the twins' parents aka my cousin and her hubby cousin in law came to my house to pick up the kids, cousin in law yang nakal accidently ask my mom and my cousin aka his wife about this week's theme, "Eh, Sunday we celebrate her birthday*pointing at me* right?" Hahaha, everyone was stunt at there, cos I am there as well. LOL... Then, I purposely pretend like I hear nothing then walk away... LOL... Aduh, so that is why, I don't feel suprise... Summore after the couple and the kids left, I asked my mom,"Mee, are they gonne celebrate my birthday on tomorrow?"Mommy yang tak pandai berlakon answered me,"why? no ar...why you think of that?" Aduh... marilah, I knew it jor la... What a cute and lovely family I have.

So after we finish the steamboat, they get prepare for the supper aka our so called Tea Time. Hainanese addict to Teh, Milk Tea, Nai Cha. Yes, we do, we as typical hainanese must have Teh everyday, EVERYDAY, at least twice a day. So the house with full of hainanese, nothing serves them better but Milk Tea.



See, Milk Tea~ When milk tea served, everyone rush to the dining table and yell " Yum Cha Lor..."




Utensils~




Cousin MK bought me birthday cake from Secret Recipe - Cheese Choc ~




Hesitation floating all over my mind, "Yes, my birthday cake, Yeah!!!" "I am 23?" "Aiya, still young~" " No.... I still got 7 yrs to celebrate my 20iesss only..."




Happy Birthday, Jamie~




Me and next week birthday girl, KS.. next week theme is Lamb Chop ~




From left to right, MY, JX, JH, Mom, Me, Auntie Chris, KS, Amanda, MK ~




Spot the twins? They sing very loud~




Cousin in law, CK trying to block the twins to blow the candles.. LOL...




Again, Fishu and KS ~




Dad and uncles....




Twins brother lagi ~


See, what a lovely family I have. Weekly theme, birthday celebration, Tea Time... After we finished the gathering, we went back home. Guess what, Lamb Chop will be our next week's theme. Me in charge of appertizer, while dad will be marinate the lamb chop. Yes, we as hainanese, we are expert in western cuisine other than the famous Hainan Chicken Rice. Yes, next week must attend the gathering, I miss Lamb Chop badly ~




After the weekly gathering, WL send over these lovely muffins that baked by her mom, aunty Wendy... Thanks Aunty Wendy... =)
See how lucky I am, I have lovely neighbour too ~ ^^




My favourite drinks, Anglia Shandy ~







=)