Hesitated again ~~~~

FG birthday is around the corner !!!!  

I was thinking how to celebrate it and what kind of pressie for him~ 

Shall I held a surprise party for him? where he don't know the existence of the party ~ Woohoo... it's gonna be a lot of tasks to accomplish the mission~~~ @.@ inform friends, pakat with them, decide the venue, planning his arrival... I doubt that I can do all these alone or not?  

Or a 3 course meal prepared by me??? @.@ Hoh !!! Are you sure that I can do this too ???? But I have lots of idea in my mind now ~ what kind of appetizer? what kind of main course? what kind of desert? Just i need to suggestions, cos it's too much of ideas come across lorr... 

Headache larrr... 

Which one should I choose? ? 

Surprise party? or Homecook celebration ? 

长女

我在想，
一个人的生存意义何在？
以前小时候总是渴望长大，
就因为可以自由自在的往外跑，
做自己喜欢做的事。
但是长大了的现在，
原来一切都不是当初幻想的来得那么美好。

长大了原来不是一件得意的事，
就因为是长女，很多时候都要照顾家里人的心情。

很多时候我真的不想扛上长女的责任，
没有什么孝义与否，只因为我是长女，
我多么不想自己是长女，
直到我接受命运的安排，我不得逃避的同时，
我效力于家里的事情，好像一直的变本加厉，我难以呼吸。
我做的一切比其他人都是应份的，
所以很多人都觉得我的努力仿佛不需要那卑微的赏识，
全都因为，那是我的本份！！！

我也有我的人生，我也有我的计划，
可是往往计划赶不及变化，人算不如天算，
我所有的计划都被逼搁置，
如果正在阅读的你当面告诉我你觉得这不是牺牲，而是本份，
我想我真的会崩溃大哭。

为什么我的牺牲就变成是本份，
就算是，为什么我不是被赞赏的哪一个？
为什么我不是那个心不甘，情不愿的时候被哄的哪一个？？

工作已经很累了，
回到家在所不惜的帮忙，
就被当着是应份。
办不到的事情就被当成是自私，
然后要对着污漆麻黑的臭脸，
好像我不能为自己的时间做出安排。

很累，我很想做到好像外国人那样，
不理会家里的事情，
只顾自己的生活。
但是我办不到，
我选择了中国人的精神，
孝义。

但是我也想要呼吸的空间，
为何我就是没有？
为何牺牲的是我？
为何被牺牲了，我没有得到认同？

我无法释怀~

给风儿的留言

亲爱的风儿，

我把我的思念交托给你，你是否已经替我转交给他呢？

好想他 。。。

超想他 。。。

风儿，你可以代替我看护他吗？

我要他晚上睡得好好的，

我要他不要踢被子，

我要他不被冷气冷着，

我要他准时起床上飞机。

我更想要飞扑向他，紧紧地抱着他。

超级想念他的大肚腩~

=((((((((

鱼儿       

上

S.I.C.K

Someone just told me that he'll sure fall sick during the 7th month of Chinese calendar without fail.

I'm not sure do I behave the same or not, but this year, I fall sick easily compare to the past ~

I'm SICK ~ yes, I am... 

For the pass 2 days, I was attacked by migraine, gastric and I have no idea body ache attacked me as well. 

I have no idea yet no explanation to myself, cos since the first day of 7th month, people around me started to fall sick... including my beloved family members... But lucky thing is we're not fall sick in the same time, which mean we take turn to take care each other... Thank God =)  

That's why my blog been dragged for weeks... forgive my laziness sickness, I've got really no mood to cook or bake, that's why I got no idea what to share with my readers... as if I've got alot... =p

I hereby to please my readers.. Bear with me just for some time, I'll be back when I'm fine... 

不是过渡期

有人问我，为什么总是要夜夜笙歌，

不能平静的，独自的度过每一天的夜晚。

老实说日子其实不难过，

只是我比较有要求，

我不想要空闲的时间是荒废的。

平时白天工作面对着四面墙壁，

面子书陪伴着，网上电台播着歌，

独自的把公司上上下下的事情办妥。

老实说，我真的不想回到家也是独自的躲在房间，

听着电台播放的歌曲，开着面子书，阅读小说。

这是因为年轻的呐喊吗？所以我才那么的野心勃勃的~

looking young

Dear Blog,

I had a gathering on last Friday. Without hesitation, I had my fringe back. Everyone praising me looking young because of the shorten fringe ~

So, this is how do I look now ~

So, do I look younger ? =p

路。 我

最近发生了一连串的事情，

我从不能接受到缓缓接受，

我不得不说的是，

我很佩服自己，

我佩服自己的信任，

我佩服自己的抗压能力，

我更佩服的是我的抉择。

it's not demanding

Gals are easy to please.

Sweet talk will replace everything.

我的他

如果问我在世上谁能让我又喜又忧，

那就莫过于许先生了。

you never know

Sometimes even how much you try, the outcome is still the sam,
cos you are not the decision maker.

To Someone that I care so much, and you know it's you,

I'm so glad that I can help you so much,
but the most important is,
the outcome is not beyond my control.

You will never see how hard that I helped,
you will never know how i need to act to be such thick face,
you will never know how my heart hurts like you,
Cos you dunno how tough my way to go...

Love, Jamie

Guys, sorry for always complaining,
I know I wasn't work well on my blog and use the same function of a blog,
but i just wish to let the one know things that I dun dare to voice out.

A lil while of proudness :)

I'm not a smoker... Just for entertain you guys jek... hehe

I miss kiap kiap ~

I feel so proud of myself !!!
I have to say this. Dun care !!!

Just met a lady boss of a shipping company.
Wow, i have to say do not despise on women.
She is just 40++ if i'm not mistaken. She doesn't looks like usual lady boss look, i mean she doesn't looks like those lady boss who wearing a fierce face, instead she is friendly, and she doesn't wear formal. I mean she's in casual look. Hmm, overall, she is so elegant with her casual look and of course a friendly lady.

Dunno why, I feel happy and kinda release after meeting with her. I know I still have to improve my business communicate skills, but I'm sure I'm not like the shy baby as before, at least I think I'm more outgoing. Cheeersss for myself. And I can feel that I'm a step nearer to the successful road... I wan to be lady boss ~~~!!!

Hahahahahahaha, stop dreaming jamie giamm... !!! slap yourself >.< ""Jamie hardworking ar, give her first..." LOL, what should I said? all of them laugh, and I'm blushing like a red tomato... ~ Iskh, then the other day, my senior said boss agreed to give you bonus and increment... LOL...

OK, it's lunch time right now, I have to eat something, otherwise I'm not allow to eat after my yoga class arcording to my yoga instructor...

Have a nice day guys... :)

i'm so dependent

Darling just send a message to me.

"Dear,i m sorry 2.today my mood not very good 2.let me calm down first k?i wan u 2 remember nomatter how we argue also,my feeling to you wont change "

I'm now so damn touching,
cos Fat.B been so busy these days.
I miss him so much...


:(


Dear, i need you badly.
I'm feeling so down today...

And not to forget i miss my bitches very much toooooo.


Arghhh,
my life is so suffer without anyone around me...
i'm so dependent.
>.<

a moment of my grey sky

it's around 10.40pm now.
dunno why, i feel so down.
i need alcohol as what i wrote for my msn tagline.
i need alcohol...
i forgot how's the taste of Budweiser.
i forgot how's the feeling having Budweiser with my dear bitches and geh gong.

i miss my darling
i miss my bitches
i miss Budweiser
i miss wings
i miss pig shuenn

i'm now listening Jerry yan - i really really love you
tears coming out soon.

arghhhhh...
i miss the feeling of being pamper...
:(

Disaster of a pig !!!!!!

Yesterday was a disaster,
I found out something which is unacceptable for me.

I was about to find my darling shirt at his mom's room. When I opened the cupboard, i found there are some female's clothes which is not belong to me nor his mom and his sis. His mom and sis clothes was at the other side of the cupboard. It is his sister's malay friend belongings. I was kinda mad that time and I really cant stand for anything about this malay girl anymore. I really wanna ask her about this, you guys know wat, even my clothes was separately with my darling. I dun understand why she have the right to put together with my darling clothes !!! and somemore before this happened, when we were sleeping, she came in our room !!! and she even put her toothbrush stick with my darling's toothbrush !!! WTF !!! I told blong about this before as i dun really know who i can talk to, blong suggested me to ask her or warn her, or ask darling sister about all this. Honestly, i dunno what to do at the moment. I dun wanna spoilt ther relationship with darling's family as we are very good in the moment. I suggest to darling, i rather buy a cupboard for him, and ask him to throw away the cupboard which currently in his room. This cupboard is sucks, it dun have a space for us to hang our clothes like dress or shirt. All of darling shirt are hang in the cupboard in his mom room.

Darling said his mom wan this cupboard and not allow us to throw it away. What to do? this way cannot, that way oso can't work ~ what to do? keep letting the malay girl put her belonging stick with my darling one? or ask his mom about this? what can i do? can anyone suggest me? It is not the first time i saw all this, first is the toothbrush thingy, second is this case, i really dunno what will come next.

I dunno what is the relationship between the malay girl and darling's sister. But all i know she stay there since last year. She sleep in his mom room cos usually his mom with his sister is in the same room. Darling's mom is a very kind person, she never say anything in front of me or darling too. All i know arcording to darling is the malay girl pay 150bucks to his mom, not really every month,but maybe a few times in a year. Darling's mom wash clothes for her, cook for her and of course a shelter for her. She even drive darling sister's car, and bang it with the repair cost of 800++ !!! can you guys imagine how serious of the damages? and what i was not happy about is she banged the car in the parking at darling's condo~ And this was not allowed to let darling mom know by her sister order. That time the accident happened was just after 3 months darling sister get her new car. Arcoding to our estimation, she might be speeding when she access to the parking. One thing, darling sister not allow darling to drive her car, but her malay friend can drive her car, wat a theory.

Maybe i'm a typical person,
but i really dun like other's stuff to stick with my darling things. Not because she is a malay, even chinese or other will do so. She is just a stranger for me and darling, we dun talk to her as friend, and she always act like she is cute and pretty !!! WTF !!! summore show me those black face when she see me ~ She likes to show off that she is using her GUESS handbag but atually it is pirated. what a fool of her.

Right this moment, I dun really want to spent longer time on her useless theory, but what I wanna do is to find a way to tell darling mom and sister about this. All i wanna do is just a kind chat with them and talk like we are a family. I know if I dun spread out my feelings, one day it will happen to be worst. I know darling already try his best on this, he did talk to his mom i think, but seems like no one take action on it. I'm so helpless ~~~ tell me what to do guys ~ pls.....

I miss PIG shuenn ~

I miss Pig shuenn so much...

I'm so looking forward to meet you dear ~

I miss you very much !!!

>.<

Polluted Brain !!! But not me ~

Reached office this morning, and the first thing usually I'll do once I finish my daily task is checking my personal and company mail. As usual, I check my personal mail and I found out that someone send msg to me at Friendster, but I'm not sure who is he, cos I dun really recognize the name of the person. Then when I read the message in Friendster, the person as mentioned, 'Michael Camhill' wrote there, " wat mean OLK.izzit oh lan kan. "

The first thing in my mind was, "FxCK YOU !!! Dun you think positively? Your brain got heavy pollution ar? "

Then I replied, "Nope..." for the first message, and followed with the second message, " Pls mind your language before you asking me. "

Till now, I feel to scold him !!! >.<

Lesson, DUN SIMPLY DO ASSUMPTION !!!

I miss my long hair... :(

Suddenly i miss my long hair so much...

It used to be long and straight, and shining too...

:(

I wan to cry jor...

:'(

Tagged, tagged, tagged...

Tagged ~

1. Name 1 person who made you laugh last night.
Noone, seems like I'm moody all the day wer...

2. What were you doing at 0800?
Sleep like a pig even the alarm rings.

3. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Get ready to go for work.

4. What happened to you in 2006?
working working working.

5. What was the last thing you said out loud?
Boys !!! Did I ask you guys to play at the staircase and washroom?!!!! (Nowadays kids are too active =.=)

6. How many beverages did you have today?
Water...

7. What colour is your hairbrush?
Pink ~~~

8. What was the last thing you paid for?
Reload coupons for my both cellular phone.

9. Where were you last night?
Home

10. What colour is your front door?
Light beige

11. Where do you keep your change?
My wallet's coin box...

12. What's the weather like today?
Cloudy ~ makes me feel to ponteng kerja and sleep at home...

13. What's the best ice-cream flavour?
Chocolate chip with Mint and of course my favourite Strawberry...

14. What excites you?
Shoppings, holidays, trips, outings, and FOODS !!!

15. Do you want to cut your hair?
Yea, and colour my hair as we率l for CNY 2008~ Yu hoo...

16. Are you over the age of 25?
Oh, I just qualified to be an adult not more than 1 year...

17. Do you talk a lot?
Yes, i'm talkative but sometimes I'm a shy baby too... Muahahahahaha...

18. Do you watch the O.C?
Huh? @,@ wat is O.C?

19. Do you know anyone named Steven?
Yes, my senior. But he is StevAn....

20. Do you make your own words?
Always...

21. Are you a jealous person?
Yes, so dont makes me love you~ Muahahahahahaha... sounds scary...

22. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter 'A'
Angeline

23. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter 'K'
Keith

24. Who's the first person on your received call list?
Mr Andrew Hooi Wei Yip

25. What does the last text message you received say?
Yesterday's Toto, magnum and 1+3D results from my cousin...

26. Do you chew on the straw?
sometimes when i think i need to diet...

27. Do you have curly hair?
Nope ...

28. What's the next place you're going to?
Might be bank...

29. Who's the rudest person in your life?
Erm... no idea, seems like I'm the rudest one in my family... HAHAHAHAHAHA...

30. What was the last thing you ate?
Peanut Pancake

31. Will you get married in the future?
YES !!!

32. What was the best movie you've seen in past 2 weeks?
it's been century for me for not entering the cinema...
Does DVD counts?If yes, then would be the Thailand movie

33. Is there anyone I like right now?
Yes.

34. When was the last time you did the dishes?
Forgot, I'm so lazy to cook recently...

35. Are you currently depressed?
Yes... :(

36. Did you cry today?
So far not yet, but i cried last night...

37. Why did you answer and post this?
Tagged by Chong Jia Ling... >.<

38. Tag 5 people who would do this.
Christina, Joyce, Vivian, Vincent and Genn~

失望

痛心
失望
尊重
尊严

这几个字占据了我的睡眠

SICK ~

I'm now seriously feeling not well !!!

Cough till seems like my lung is coming out soon !!!

Shit !!!

And my neck feels like going to PATAH !!!

Shit !!!

I've been sick for TWICE in ONE MONTH !!!

My backache getting serious !!!

shit !!!

And I'm now seriously tasteless ~

Everythng which put in the mouth are no taste at all ~

And still, i need to go to bank today ~

Pity me ... I hate to go Bank ~