A bored holiday

Arghhh... !!! I just cant stop listen to
Jordan Knight feat. Deborah Gibson- Say Goodbye

But I dont have this song in my pc... pathetic ~ I just managed to listen it througth IMEEM ~
Ooo... anyone there have this song? Can send it to me througth MSN anot? Hmm... I'm addicted to it !!! The lyric is so damn meaningful to me... Hmm...
Jialing, you have this song anot? Send it to me pls... Oh ya, where can I download english song besides LIMEWIRE? which website? I'm PC idiot, u guys know it right?

Planned to see fireworks yesterday due to the Merdeka Eve, but it's too bad !!! Cos my very darling told me that he did his revision on the places where got fireworks and he told me only 2 places which is Dataran Merdeka and Bukit Jalil. So after our dinner and light shopping at IOI mall, we rushed to Bukit Jalil. I already told him Putrajaya might got the firework show, so why dont we go to the Bandar Puteri to watch right? But he rejected and reply me that only the two places ... Eeee, what to do? Just go lo as long as he willing to bring me go... Hahahaha... And waited till 12.08am 31082007... then he told me,"Darling, I think this year Bukit Jalil might dont have firework show~" Arghhh !!! Dissappointing ~ No choice, go for a drink lo... Anyway, I'm still happy that we could have a drink before go home. Both of us has been long time never hang out till so late ~ Hehe... thanks darling ~ Muax... :P

Today is public holiday for malaysia... It's Merdeka Day - Independence Day...
But it sucks for me, cos I just stay at home and blogging right now.Hmm... my sis went out with her friends edi la... what about me? I have to take care my bro cos mommy and daddy went to Alor Setar... Everyone have their plan on this holiday but I'm now blogging !!! Argghhh !!! Not to blogging is a waste for a holiday, but I'm seriously BORE here... Haih... What to do next is kinda hard for me to answer myself~ Prepare dinner? Cook? Da Bao? Supper? DVD? Astro? Aikssss...

Woke up quite early today, cooked lunch for my bro and myself, then wash the dishes, then clean up my room, clean up the washroom too... Tired ... Music is to release stress... and there goes Jordan Knight !!! HAHAHA...

Here goes some of my silly thought during my bored holiday ~

Deborah Gibson
" You dont wanna say goodbye but you never really seem like you wanna try ~"
Yeah, guys always dont understand what a girl want. They just mention it by their only mouth but without any action !!! Can't the guys give some response? Erghhh...

Jordan Knight
" But I only wanted you to stay Then I let you just slip away "
Hallo, Mister, No action, no action, Can you work out something? See, I told you... Hahaha... actually sometimes girls want to leave but it doesn't mean they really wanna leave you, they might just want some lovely words from her man.

Deborah Gibson
" If you didn't listen to you heart inside Then it really doesn't matter what was on your mind "
Yea, guys always DECIDE on what they Want but not THINK on what they Need ~ Hmm... What to say more? Cos they are ego !!!
" And if you need me then tell me why "
And when it comes to the question, they just speechless. Hmm... abit accurate for my darling... HAHA...and he will start to thinks the answer which he think it is perfectly for me to accept.

Jordan Knight
"Girl I never meant to say goodbye... "
Nah, See ~ End up with this lo... what to say right? Hehe...

Hmm... Of course, it's not for all the guys. Some are real good. Just we have not meet him yet right? Cheer Up !!! Do not give up cos of some idiot guy who dont know to cherish you. Iskh... sounds like I'm tough but actually I'm NOT !!! Hahahaha... and it sounds like I'm expert !!! Hahahahaha... Hmm, actually I'm not ~ LOL ...

after a short nap

Darling taught me that not to treat people so well, do not treat anyone so kind and do not concern so much. Yeah, I was not taken his words and it end up with the outcome as what he thought. He is good in estimation ya. What to say more right? Be smart after a lesson lo... there is nothing to lose... and it gain a lesson, not bad huh? hehe...

My card statement arrived. Gosh, I spent 1.4k plus plus on last month. What a shocking figure... hahahahaha... LOL... ok, some of it is not my expenses la... it's mommy one... Never be late for this time, gotta settle the bill as soon as possible cos the due date has been changed to earlier. Bank really got the way to earn the citizen's money.

I'm sleepless last night. Not enough sleep and I just awake from my short nap. Not to mention why I'm sleepless. I think I got insomia. Hehe... People just said to me that I was thinking too much before bed time. Hmm, how much I wish I will think nothing and just enjoy my novel before my beauty sleep. But it will never be for every night. I think I should buy some beer to stand by in case I cant sleep again tonight. Do not ask me to have some milk before sleep, cos I don't like milk.

Somebody used to told me, if he taken the first step, but she still stand with her own point. Then he will give up and quit for the game. Yea, I agree. So that me. Still the same phrase, nothing to lose. Hehe... If I have taken the first step, the opponent still stand at his/her own point, there is no point for me to continue also la. Leave it lo... Hehe... Find the person that appreciate you. Love yourself before you love the others. Haha... Mommy and darling taught me that.

Just awake from a short nap. Haha, never thought that I can think so many things after my nap. Hand paining right now. Haha, you guys must be curious how come I can sleep in the office... cos I had finished my tasks and nothing to do lo. Watched sailormoon for few episodes during lunch time. Yea, I skipped my lunch again. Diet of cos, and I don't feel I want to eat anything. Hmm, I'm just too bored to take my lunch alone in the office. Pathetic me ~

Gotta stop here.

Joyce, I miss you. :'(

What can I say more?

She's blind !!!
What can I say more ?

The outcome is one of my expectation.
What can I say more?

Thanks for everything.
Thanks for the lesson.
That's all what I can say.

Dun ask me what happened K?
I dun wish to mention about it again ~

Mind your own business.
Enjoy life.

How much i think i'm not the one as I think

I'm just a good listener. I'm just a good counselor. I'm just a clean rubbish tank which always welcome rubbish.

How much I wish there's someone out there can listen to my heart when I'm unhappy. Maybe some good listener that willing to share my thought with? Or a true fren that always listen to my probs and advise me, comform me? but i just cant find even one... guys always dun understand what a girl want... I just hope that I find a true girl fren... and it is difficult...

I always thought that a true fren will welcome his/her fren to come over for their probs. Giving them advices, comfort them, concerning them? Am i wrong all this while? Heard from someone "They know you in trouble, but they are not considering about ur condition, do you think it's what so called good fren? best buddy?" and I told the person "Do not count on your fren." and the person replied," but they count on you."

I'm speechless... seriously speechless... the quote keeps making me think of all the past. Why am I always be the replace one or ppl who always count on? Isn't it I'm too kind? Or I'm a weaker? and I've not realised it and still proud of it? It's pathetic to realise all the fucking fact !!! I'm not here to mention that I'm having probs on my frenship. But what pathetic is the fact of my love life do related some and it makes me think of my past. I'm the replace one. Shall I proud of it? or just drop those fucking tears? Am i too pessimistic just because i'm having those pisces character?

I still remember times ago, a fren of mine broke up with his boyfren and been together with another guy. Her boyfren then come to me and telling me how sad he was. He called me everyday and chit chat with me on the phone for few hours everyday. And he even ask me to be his girlfren !!! WTF !!! At first, I admit that I really did considered about him cos we are happy when we chat over the phone for few hours everyday. But then, he called me one day as usual, he told me that he regret to told me all those stupid request. He admited that he was too sad and he's still missing his ex( my fren) and he thought that I can replace his ex. WTF !!! how pathetic it is... I just kept inside my heart, who will know all these fucking feelings bugging me that time la... haih...Continue enjoy my life and not letting others know that I'm feeling bad... I'm not bluffing ok, this is true story of mine...Then end up, he did not call me since the time he said he was regret...And I dun wish to see him anymore...

And it comes to my first boyfren that both of us been together for more than 1 year. And both of us has the unforgetable memory. It might be a small case for others but it's kinda deep in my heart. Not to mention it here.. Shhh... He is older than me 6 years old.... That time I was 17... Broke up for almost more than 3 years... At first I really dunno what's happening on us that cause him to break up with me... and I still remember few weeks after we broke up, I found out the reason that he decide to break up with me. and the reason is I'm younger than him 6 years old ~ His mother doesn't like me cos I'm younger than him 6 years old... And his mother ask him to dump me !!! Cos his mother think that it's not good to have 6 years of gap between the couple. I will cause his son( my ex) unsuccessful in his career and everything. I will bring bad luck to him. WTF !!! what a reason right? and he decided to end up our relationship. What to do? I just cant do anything. Let it be, and I'm so proud to end with him, otherwise I'll not meet a better one like my current boyfren, he is much better than him !!! And some times ago, a fren of mine told me that, during the time me and my ex together, there is another girl appear. My ex choose me cos I stay near his house, easy for him to find me everytime when he need me... the other girl stay far from his house, so my ex choosen me... Shall I proud of it huh? Stupid reason to be together with me... what another sucks guy that I met...

Not to mention the name of those sucks guys... I'm off to sailormoon... I'm addicted to sailormoon ~

Hmm... i need holiday ~

Just read a fren's blog... Not to mention who is it here... Hmm... kinda moody after read my fren's blog... dunno why, but i just feels so...

It's 1230pm right now... lunch soon, but i think i'm not going and skip it as usual... I'm missing someone, something...

i miss my darling,
i miss my lil hubby,
i miss joyce,
i miss my bed,
i miss my old days,
i miss my perfume,
i miss McD...
i miss my bitches very much ...

someone just online, and I'm wondering what happened to her? Is it her sick so damn serious? She is trying to ruin her own life and someone's life... why dun she just enjoy her life with her luxurious stuff and etc? why she just cant feeling enought on what she had now? Why she keep on doing nonsense? why she rather to waste her precious time just to spoilt something else but not something useful? I really want to ask her, " dun u feel suffer for this kind of life? jealousy of so many things and making nonsense around? "

Not to mention who's the one i keep mentioning right now... I'm so pissed off cos of her senseless~ Not to waste my precious time and my blog's space for her right this moment, she soon to be my ignore list... HAHA...

Someone told me that he bought LV and tiffany to his sweetheart... sweeetsssss... two days in a roll... can u guys dun make me jealous ar? >.<''' otherwise I will non stop shopping if I'm going crazy... HAHAHAHAHA... and somemore nobody willing to go shopping with me jor, so dun make me jealous la... aiyo... i must not go shopping for this few months la... save money, save money...

Just submitted my car inssurance documents to the workshop... Hopefully my lil hubby can back to me as soon as possible... I told mommy yesterday that my car is getting more problems before accident... Instead of wasting money on those repair charges, why dun I use the amount to afford a better car? I mean a new car? HAHA... suprising decision right? But it is just an idea la... If trade in my car, it will gain loss !!! I'm not affordable for any loss !!! HAHA... so forget bout my new car plan...

it's end of the month... National Day coming soon, and salary out soon... But there's lots of bills need to settle... credit card, car installment, house installment, parking fee, phone bill, and etc... Plan to apply leave on next monday and tuesday due to the national day holiday, If it's approve, I'll be on leave for 5 days ... HAHA... but not to expect so much now...

end here la... kinda tired... need some rest...

erm...

Just heard from a fren that her bf bought a ring to her... glad to hear that from her, cos she's been hurt by her bf, and now her bf might be realise that she is the best... so sweet right? sweeet... when is my turn? Hmm, not to request so much... as long as I'm happy with him now... Yo girl, u must be staring at the ring for all the time la...HAHAHAHA... sweet... iskh... I jealous d la...

I miss my lil hubby... Hmm...

when is my turn to have a ring? I'm wondering it~ hahahaha... yeah the ruby ring that always on my right forth finger was gifted by him hmm i think it was around 2 years ago.... HAHAHA... Hmm... i miss the old days... haih... not to mention so much, cos HE READ MY BLOG !!! out of imagination right? HAHAHA, never thought he will read ... HAHAHA

Dear, do not mad when u read the above... HAHAHAHAHA...

aiks... mommy nagging... need to go for a pray right now... today is hungry ghost festival ~ see ya guys...

i'm gonna miss him~

poor lil hubby ~

only minor injured ~ but mine... haiz...

he need some rest~

say babye for at least 2 weeks... I'm gonna miss u dear...

Lesson of the day:

Do not think of anything when driving especially July of Lunar calendar.

Haih...

speechless

dissappointed

i feel to cry but i know he dun likes me to cry cos i'm not tough enuf

i need a drink

at first i really out of mood for a drink

but now

my feelings sucks

i need some alchohol

but i know i'm not having it right now

and i'm unable for a drink now

i'm sucks

My lil hubby accident ~

I'm so out of mood... i was suppose to be happy cos I'm going to Vhristina birthday party later... but I CANT GO... this is so upset...why I cant go? Cos I'll be having a meeting later and dinner with my boss later... this is definitely not the special occassion, but due to my boss just come to Malaysia a few times a year, so no choice and I gotta go, no excuse...

and the second thing is I BANG-ed MY CAR... this time is my fault cos I bang ppl's car ass... and the opponent car is ford ranger... can u imagine how damage is my car? Let me tell u guys, My lil hubby's half head gone... My car's molek bengkok like dunno wat shape, water tank is leaking, it's bocor... all the light, signal light, everything at infront part finish...Haih... :(

I shall upload the pics later... cos I'm freaking tired for running here and there just for my police report and my company stuff... I gotta go...And I'm just reach office for my meeting minutes later... So freaking tired cos I've been waiting for cab for 2 hours just to reach office...

Jialing, I'm not sure whether I can fetch you on tomorrow anot, and Christina, I dun have transport to your party dear... I shall update u guys later ya... wish me luck ba...

Muacksss...

Homemade Butter Cake with Chocolate Chip

Just bake my HOMEMADE BUTTER CAKE WITH CHOCOLATE CHIP~
actually I had baked one on last saturday, but just one day... all finished... and I have not eat one piece also... so bake again today... so I can eat ~ nyek nyek nyek...
Here goes my outcome of HOMEMADE BUTTER CAKE WITH CHOCOLATE CHIP~

Finished look... =P

Smooth ha? HAHAHAHAHA... and the choco chips...

looks like coffee bean too ~ ^^

The chips are cute right? HAHAHAHAHAHA

lalalalalalala... Everyone like this cake... including the kids ~ HAHAHAHAHAHA... should I proud of myself? Muahahahahahahaha... Love me pls... LOLOLOLOL...

nonsense

" Oh BITCH, u are real bitch... See, you are not the bitches tat i cherish in my bitches list K... I mean U ARE THE REAL BITCH !!! THE REAL BITCH WHO MESS THINGS UP ~ I SHALL ADD THAT U ARE THE REAL BITCH WHO LOVES TO SPOIL PPL'S LIFE JUST BECAUSE OF YOUR DREAMS~ Fuck off la, u might think u are the most valuable for someone but if for others, IT'S NOT WORK EVEN YOU OPEN YOU LEGS BIG BIG SHOWING YOUR BIG CHOW HAI AND YOU TRYING TO ATTRACT PPLS BY YOUR CHOW HAI !!! NOBODY WILL WILLING TO FUCK YOUR CHOW HAI !!! if u read my blog then it is good, keep on your plan~ you might get happy when u see all this, and you might feel proud cos you make me cry and gain my tears... but wat u did, GOD WILL SEE ~ keep on going on your plan and your expected ending... I'm not giving up and I'm not the one who will fulfill your dreams... I'm not the numb either slave for you... you are nothing... "


I must here to clarify that the above quote from my previous entry is for a person that have not found or may not exist !!! it is not from my fren's group ~ What i shud say is I'm sure that the person that I insulted is not close with me...It's a assumption ~ My assumes person IS NOT MY GANG OF FREN !!! so you guys dun be sensitive on it... it is just a spread out of my feelings... Read my blog without any prejudis ~

I should sleep now cos tomorrow morning have to fetch my sis to office earlier than as usual. But i just sleepless... I'm so so so so so dissappointed ~ True... do not ask me why, but i just feels to... words really cant describe... What I should say I'm always nothing to person that I care much and I'm always cant find out the person that treat me real good till i left him/her ~ This is so pathetic... Haiz, what can say more... I need to remind myself all the time ~

it's 12.24am right now...

ok... i gotta sleep even i cant ... otherwise i'll be late tomorrow...

My Thought

Joyce reach SF ~ All the best to you, joyce... take good care of yourself... life's going on... be tough... and same to me too :) Do update urself often...Muacksss... LNMU lots ~

If life could be simple , i might not get myself in trouble. How good if I could live my life just like our chicken lady christina, easy come easy go... not to bother other's life including our close one... Then i might not get such hurt all the time right? How good if i dun be such emo and such caring person, then i might get myself in the joyful life... life is tough but I'm not going to give up.

I cried just now cos i heard something bad from kor... pissed off but not bcos of u kor... dun worry... Noone will care I'm crying anot too... I'm just too emo, i'll fine after my tears... not going to blame anyone of my close one, but I'm real dissappointed. Real true, and my lesson, not to concern and not to caring, that's all... in the end it will just gain irritation from others when u said soemthing concern but actually it's bad for the certain person, when u did not looking for ur close one. Weird but it's learned from my life...Anyway, I will only treasure the friendship which Ppl who helps me lots and thanks for everyone who cares me, I'll try my best not to dissppoint you guys cos I dun wan u guys being like me right this moment. Even I'm dissppointed now, but I'm not giving up to proove myself... My dear fren, you will soon to see the truth ~

Oh BITCH, u are real bitch... See, you are not the bitches tat i cherish in my bitches list K... I mean U ARE THE REAL BITCH !!! THE REAL BITCH WHO MESS THINGS UP ~ I SHALL ADD THAT U ARE THE REAL BITCH WHO LOVES TO SPOIL PPL'S LIFE JUST BECAUSE OF YOUR DREAMS~ Fuck off la, u might think u are the most valuable for someone but if for others, IT'S NOT WORK EVEN YOU OPEN YOU LEGS BIG BIG SHOWING YOUR BIG CHOW HAI AND YOU TRYING TO ATTRACT PPLS BY YOUR CHOW HAI !!! NOBODY WILL WILLING TO FUCK YOUR CHOW HAI !!!
if u read my blog then it is good, keep on your plan~ you might get happy when u see all this, and you might feel proud cos you make me cry and gain my tears... but wat u did, GOD WILL SEE ~ keep on going on your plan and your expected ending... I'm not giving up and I'm not the one who will fulfill your dreams... I'm not the numb either slave for you... you are nothing...

Clue : the above phase is for the troublemaker that appear right now... It's not for our close one. I always believe my friends ~ If you guys wish to know anything then just ask, do not hesitate. If you guys curious is it mentioning YOU anot? then just ask me ~ Dun fuck up anyone ~ Ask me better...

Life is tough har? but nevermind, we afford to gain it by OURSELVES ~
that day somebody call me up and confess herself to me that her beloved is being in a heavy stress. She fulfill everything on her beloved ones with those branded stuff and ETC which is cost high and then her bf told her, he's been in a heavy stress cos everybody were looking different on him. He could not handle this. Dare to receive but not dare to face the fact. How pathetic ~ You receive then you have to know how to handle the stress right? Dun receive la then if you think you cant handle it ~ this is real sucks... I'm not jealousy or wat, cos this is so nonsense, I just dun understand why He dare to receive my fren's present but not to dare to face the public... otherwise then dun take any single stuff from my fren la~ I only understand there's no point to get others to agree your life cos everyone have there different point of view. No need to care what others thinking on you cos it is your life not others, they have no right to judge your life unless yourself. Really fuck up to heard that from my fren, and end up with I just told her, ask your beloved one no need to care what others thinking, it's the love life of you both not others. Am I right with that advice? I dun care and it's from my bottom heart.
Story ends.

I'm not to gain any agreement while I just blogging and telling my true feelings... and the harsh words are the true feelings of mine.... Sorry if I had men-ko-tor-kan your eyes ya... Life still goes on... LNMU all ~

F.R.I.E.N.D

haih... dunno how to describe my feeling now...
but haiz ~
can anyone tell me what is frens for?
and how to be a perfect fren, means ppl will not blame on u one?
Off topic... my conclusion, those kira kira punya fren, FUCK OFF !!!

jialing, when u gonna update ur blog my dear? everyday refresh refresh oso dun have new one... make it soon k, i know ur exam is coming... LOL... gambateh ~

joyce fei jor... she might be reading her novel now in the plane ~ HAHA... maybe 30 hours later when she set down her thing at SF then she might ONLINE ~ yu hoo... i miss her deep deep...

christina birthday coming... iskh... pressie ~ !!! >.<
chicken lady, then i shall buy some chicken thingy to her ~ wahahahahahaha...

to my geh's family, dun think so much jor...
maggie, pls take good care of urself...
genn, i dunno wat happened in very detail, but pls dun say sorry again !!!
ah kor, we keep sampat and look for leng chai ~ HAHAHAHAHAHA
muu mum will read my blog anot? i wan to thank her cos she taught me alot... muacksss...

Muacksss deep deep one with loud loud sound and saliva oso come out to all my dear frens and frens who cherish me one... i dun wan faker ~ fuck off ~

now my next mission is to SAVE MONEY !!! i wan to go US ~ and second thing, have to speak english more often... my english sucks... tat's wat my sucklish ~ Gambateh for me and gambateh for all of us ~

xxx xxx xxx xxx

Time flies ~ time flies ~

It's Saturday. And it's coming to the end. Joyce is leaving on next wednesday. Can I ask her dun go? AH AH, NoNO ~ Let it be, let it be... I'm gonna miss you dear~ >.< Joyce, really sorry cos when u r here, I'm not looking for you often, and when it comes to the last minute only I realise it. Sorry dear. How much I wish I can turn back time, but this is not gonna be. Sorry dear, really sorry ~

Have you guys ever seen bird bang wall ? HAHA, sounds funny right? Hey, this is not a joke. When i'm in office, I saw few times d ~ When i was blogging just now, I heard a loud voice which come from outside. Then I take a look, a crow bang my office window!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA, this is the second time~ LOL... imagine a crow fly here and there and suddenly " PIAK " ~ HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

After the incident of Green Hat, honestly i feel guilty. Sorry guys. I know his actions scares you all. I know you guys unhappy on it, seriously Sorry. I know he had hurt u guys. Sorry K. sincerely here. SOrry sorry sorry sorry. sorry for everything that cause by me. sorry.

Y.M.C.A

i'm fine

Guys, do not feel sorry to me K... seriously, I'm fine. :)
It doesn't make sense to feel sorry to me, u guys had do nothing... It's my probs and i have not settle my things well... Frens Forever... So do not blame urself K...I love you guys... Muacksssss ;)


Honestly, I'm dissappointed.
I had do nothing. But it ends up with I'm the betrayer. Nothing much to explain cos I'm tired to be the innocent again. For uncountable times of being an innocent, how would you feel? I have no such feeling, such thinking and even such TRUTH, but he always thought his assumes are the Truth. And i always ignore what he had think and his thought. Uncountable explaination to him just to clarify myself but it ends up with it's the REAL explaination which is not true and it was created nicely.

Shall I ignore this time too?
I really dunno what to do. I called him few times last night, but i had not speak anything. He was another side just hello hello and ask me to say something. I called but din said a word even hello. I dunno why i called him cos i just feels to call him. I heard his voice, he is fine. He habg up my calls with not a bye bye cos I had speak nothing in the phone too. I was not feeling angry. Usually I hate him to hang off my call without byebye and Ok la. But for last night, honestly i feel nothing. What happened to me? Did my heart told me that I'm leaving? Everytime arguement occur, I dun dare to tell my frens and my parents, I dun wan my beloved frens and family worry bout me, I dun wan them to know I'm feeling bad, I dun wan them to think he is not a good guy for me. I cry alone. I rather to be alone. I just dun wan others think that he is not a good guy. He is good but not always. Do i need to protect him this time? His words can even kill my heart. But too bad, I just cant let him go, I love him, and we've been together for more than 2 years. Xuan said I dun have the courage to let him go. I admit, I really dun have the courage.

He posted few bulletins in frenster and even updated his profile. I feel embarrassing. but think it back, i have do nothing that betray him. But i know, soon to be, his frens will think that I'm betrayer, I'm cheap and I'm a sucks lady. I dunno I'm a good girl anot but this is unfair to me cos I've do nothing. I dun mind his weakness. I dun mind he's cant fulfill me all the time cos I think I'm able to get myself for what I want and I'm independent. I dun mind what others think that he is not good or not a successful man. But I'm giving him time to improve, I'm there to sacrifice and I'm stand besides of him when he had probs. But it end ups with "thank you for your sacrifice" . It's not fair. What it is mean? I'm soon to be a bad lady. But I'm not. I was trying to protect him but now I'm the bad lady. So what now? My heart which broken for uncountable times was totally break again !!! I dun care now, but i just want my reputation back. I dun want to be innocent.

I hate...
I just hate the tireness of my cried eyes. I hate the heat of my tears. I hate my wet pillow. I hate to wear specs to hide my unhappy face. I hate the feel of vomit. I hate sleepless night. I hate to pretend nothing in front of my parents. I hate the feelings of being an innocent but cant do anything. I hate headache. I hate to cry. I hate to force myself to smile. I hate to dream.

He sms-ed me last night for apologize. But guess what, I feels nothing. I feel helpless. and I'm sleepless last night. I just dun wan him to melt my coldness heart. And i had lost my heart to persuade me to take any action. I'll always remember Forgive But Not Forget. He taught me that. And it was useful right this time. And i try to login his frenster account. We have each other password, and guess what. He changed the password and it is his Ex's birthday. Reasonable~ I have nothing to think much. I'm dissappointed. Everytime arguement occurs, there is no any lovely word from him, and I'm always gonna work out 1st. Not for this time anymore, I prefer to stay alone here to continue my blogging and my chit chat to my frens.

Thanks to my dear frens. Thanks to all the sms-s and all the calls. Guys, I'm proud to know you guys. Honestly from the bottom of my heart. No worry K, I'll be fine, just give me some time. And seriously I need alchohol. So who's willing to have a drink with me later? Hehehehehehe....

Cheer up. I'm gonna be fine. ;)

F*UCKING

heading to the curve later... and I'm now
FUCKING PISSED OFF !!!!
FUCKING MAD !!!
FUCKING MOODY !!!
FUCKING FEEL TO BEAT PPL !!!
and i'm
FUCKING IDiOT !!!

things just dun go smoothly ... update later...

out of mood...

i wish BUDWEISER is in front of me now...
I'm now freaking out of mood !!!
how much i wish i could have some liquor... Life is bored !!!
I cant cry cos it is not a sad things, I cant laugh cos it's not a happy thing too...
I cant sleep cos my mind just dun allow me to do so...
damn it... I need frens now... i need someone to be with me now !!!
Blame tat fucking feelings that keep nagging me !!!
DAmn It !!!

i love budweiser, I AM TOUGH !!!

~ i love Budweiser ~

My bitches are so damn COOL ~ HAHAHAHA... we are having fun last night... never thought that Martin can join the girls sampat around too... LOLOL... I'm now waiting the pics from Joyce... Hmm... I'm gonna miss her .... We bitching around... yeah, Martin too... HAHAHAHAHA... and not to forget the chicken lady... she 's wearing VONO soup uniform... hohoho... Genn was totally high ~ never seen her in such way... Oooo...

Time flies, we are no longer the bunch of kids who order Teh O Ais Limao... Instead of mamak during our school time, It's cafe NOW !!! No longer TEH O Ais Limao, and its lemon green tea now... HAHAHAHA... not to say exactly NO MAMAK... but Cafe is more often than mamak... Oh... never thought that time do flies so fast... WE ARE ADULT !!! i just cant stop myself to mention that I'm adult... cos I have not been to casino since my 21st... Iskh... gotta plan for it...

I managed to find my favourite korean drama " Phoenix aka Fire Bird " at tudou... wow... i thought i cant watch it again, cos i watched it from bb there... and it's his auntie's vcd... so i dun dare to borrow it... Yeah... and i found it now... !!! Yes yes yes !!! nice show lo... eric damn leng chai la wei... But too bad, the actress had suicided last year... she is pretty and young... Hmm...Nice show... U see, i dun like those korean and japanese drama... but this one is different... I like this... Lol...

Today is Saturday... Hmm... I'm tired... Hmm... and I'm hungry now... I dunno for others, but for me, work on Saturday is a waste... I got nothing to do... Shit... I supposed to be sleeping now... but since the DHL called me yesterday that there is a delivery on today... SO I'M HERE... see now already 11++, but the DHL ppl still not yet come...iskh... till wat time i have to wait ler?

I had ordered "Bread Chicken" which cantonese is " Min Bao Gai " at talipon restaurant ... Hmm... it is a huge bread with the curry chicken filling... it is really huge... I had booked two of it... it is for my family dinner on Sunday...it costs Rm 60... RM30/bread... My 3rd cousin was trying to give me money to pay for it when i collect it on tomorrow, but i rejected~ HAHAHAHAHAHA... I'm weird ha... at first i wanted to take the money, since they are elder, they always pay for the dinner de...but she kept mentioned that RM60 is not a small amount...Maybe she's really consider bout me that I'm younger so she offered me but ... I'm sensitive, what i thought it just sounds like I cant afford to pay... Come on, i really dislike ppl thought i cant afford anything... Hmm, I know I'm sensitive but I really cannot lose the principle of mine, I do not allow anyone who looks down on me...Erm...You might think I'm a bit weird and sensitive , but i really dislike ppl think that I'm weaker !!! I Am Tough !!! so i rejected her money, and i tell her that " Nevermind, I'll pay for it... since my salary had increased ~ " and my heart sounds ' I'm proud to treat you all '... Well, actually i never expect she will give me money, cos I'm really plan to treat them the meal since my 2nd cousin had help me to talk to my boss... but the quote "60 ringgit is not a small amount" is annoying me !!! Arghh... till now, i still can remember her face when she talk to me... ~ Even my mommy knows my attitude very well, i just dun like to talk bout money K ~ since I'm able to pay, then I'll pay...If I'm unable then i'll just speak out... there is nothing wrong to be honest right? but JUST DUN DESPISE ME ~

Friday's guess

Back to work...I'm now at office...See, just one day on leave, suddenly a bunch of paper work waiting for me...when I'm at office, there is nothing for me to do...I wish to know why also...Today is friday, relax time... weekend soon ~ LALALALALA... I like Friday the most among the other days... time for a guess... OK... here its goes...

A centipede named Abu, Abu have 50 legs... when Abu turns a corner to the kitchen, there is only 49 legs are walking, where is the other leg ?

hahahahaha... take your time...

Protect yourself

I'm sick !!!
God bless me bah... I'm sick... I'm sick...how i wish I'll be okay and i had promise my bitches to go for dinner on tomorrow and a shopping on tomorrow... How can i compromise? And i really wish to go... I love my bitches !!! I love you gals...

Taken my medicine and slept at 12++ last night...Well, i know i shud sleep earlier... but went out with Bb to IOI mall to buy something and reach home already 11pm... and i planned to sleep right after my medicine then mommy ask me to "kuat sa" for her, cos she oso not feeling well... then went downstair and "kuat sa" for mommy...Not a good sleep on last night, i thought i'll sleep well after the medicine but it's NOT !!! Haih... i just wish i can sleep well tonight...

Something had happened on my another gang of pretties... Iskh... I shud not say pretties, it sounds like good gal hah... In fact, some of them are NOT !!! Joyce must be very curious of this... HAHAHAHAHA... sorry dear, i'll tell you more later when i meet you k?
SHit damn shit, i just dun understand why there is such attitude and such thinking on a GAL which consider as a fren on mine !!! MEN-SIA-SUI-KAN !!! I dun admit I'm a very good gal, but i think i'm better than the MEN-SIA-SUI-KAN !!! I always told my girl frens, we shud be independent~ Well, i shud not say only GIRLS shud do that , but everyone... If you have non of relationship with someone, then you better behave yourself and archieve wat you wan on your own but not others... Am i right guys? Especially those who pak-toh-ing one, you are not legally to your another half ~ and you are not protected by the legal law...who knows one day your man or your woman will betray you?SO PROTECT YOURSELF !!! Protect yourself to avoid others hurt you !!! not to say to hide your true you... but to protect yourself instead of you rely on your man or your woman...
Some cases that i had heard from some frens, example, A gal got everything, branded cloths, jewellery, bags, cars, houses... but it's all from her boyfren, her boyfren bought her all those luxurious stuff.So one day, the gal found out that his man flirting with other gals... then she meet her man up and want to know what's going on... They argue, they fight and the arguement end ups with a phrase which come out from her man," what you wear, what you have now are buy from my money, you have no right to control my everything, you are using my money, i like to do whateva i like !!! " The gal had nothing to say, she just keep quiet and she break with him after a few months ~ get the lesson? earn things from your own and protect yourself and not to being a parasite to your other half ... Not true mer? Not only guys will react like the man in the example, girls oso same...

I'm off now... sleepy...

I'm Sick

I'm sick...
I had heavy flu...
The feel-like-fever feels so damn sucks...
I hate the feeling of getting sick...
Yerrr... all the medicine also finished... i really dun wan to see doctor la...i hate to see doctor...
Curse the stupid flu germs... why keep looking for me one?
Damn... !!!

I'm off... really no mood for blogging...